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写作范文库
对比同一题目的两篇范文。
Nowadays, working from home is becoming more and more popular1 in many countries. Some people think it has many advantages, but others think it also has disadvantages. In my opinion, the advantages are more than the disadvantages2.
Firstly, working from home can save a lot of time.3 People do not need to spend time on the bus or train every day. Secondly, it can save money, because workers do not need to pay for transport and lunch outside. In addition, people can take care of their family more easily, for example their children or old parents.
However, there are also some disadvantages.4 Working from home makes people feel lonely because they cannot talk with their colleagues face to face. Moreover, some people cannot concentrate at home because there are many distractions, such as television and housework. It is also difficult for the company to manage the workers.
In conclusion, although working from home has some disadvantages, I believe the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. Companies should allow their employees to work from home if it is possible.
Memorized filler phrasing. It fills space but shows no lexical range — a Band 6 marker when it opens the essay.
背诵式的套话。它填充了篇幅,却没有展示词汇广度——用它开篇是典型的 6 分特征。
The position is stated, which protects Task Response — but "are more than" is an awkward calque. The natural phrasing is "outweigh", used correctly only in the conclusion.
立场表达出来了,这保住了任务回应分——但 "are more than" 是生硬的中式直译。自然的说法是 "outweigh",而这篇文章只在结论里用对了它。
Ideas are listed, not developed. Each advantage gets one sentence and no consequence: saved time — and then what? Band 7 requires extending an idea, not collecting more of them.
观点被罗列,而没有展开。每个优点只有一句话,没有后续推论:省下了时间——然后呢?7 分要求延伸一个观点,而不是堆砌更多观点。
The disadvantages paragraph simply lists problems and never returns to the writer's position. The essay claims advantages win but never argues why these problems matter less.
缺点段只是罗列问题,从未回到作者的立场。文章声称优点更多,却从未论证为什么这些问题的分量更轻。
The shift toward home working is one of the most significant changes in modern employment, and it is often debated whether its benefits justify its costs. In my view they clearly do, provided that companies design remote arrangements deliberately rather than by default1.
The strongest argument in favour is the recovery of commuting time. In major cities, employees routinely lose ten hours a week to travel — time that benefits nobody. When remote work returns those hours, the gains are not confined to leisure2: parents cover school runs without taking leave, and employees in expensive capitals can live further away, easing pressure on both their finances and the housing market. In other words, the advantage compounds well beyond the individual worker.
The disadvantages are real but narrower than they appear. Collaboration and mentoring undoubtedly suffer when colleagues never meet, and early-career staff lose the informal learning that comes from simply overhearing experienced people work. Yet these costs argue for hybrid schedules rather than for abandoning remote work3: gathering teams for two fixed days a week preserves precisely the activities that require presence, while keeping the flexibility that employees now demonstrably value when choosing employers.
Weighing the two sides, the benefits are broad, durable and shared across society, while the costs are specific and largely solvable4 through scheduling. The advantages of home working therefore outweigh its disadvantages, and the sensible question for most organisations is no longer whether to permit it, but how to structure it.
A qualified thesis. The writer takes a clear side and adds a condition, which sets up the whole essay's logic — this is the nuance Band 8 Task Response rewards.
有限定条件的论点。作者立场明确,同时附加了一个条件,这为全文的逻辑埋下伏笔——这正是 8 分任务回应所奖励的思辨深度。
One idea, fully developed: saved time → concrete examples → a wider economic consequence. Compare the Band 6 essay, which spends the same words on three undeveloped ideas.
一个观点被完整展开:省下的时间 → 具体例子 → 更广泛的经济影响。对比 6 分作文:同样的篇幅被花在三个未展开的观点上。
The concession is answered. The writer grants the disadvantage its full weight, then shows it points to a different conclusion. This move — concede, then redirect — is the clearest single difference between Band 6 and Band 8 argumentation.
让步之后有回应。作者充分承认缺点的分量,然后论证它其实指向另一个结论。这个"先让步、再转向"的动作,是 6 分与 8 分论证之间最清晰的分水岭。
The conclusion does the actual weighing the question asks for — it names the criteria (breadth, durability, solvability) instead of just repeating "advantages outweigh disadvantages".
结论真正完成了题目要求的"权衡"——它给出了衡量标准(广度、持久性、可解决性),而不是简单重复"优点大于缺点"。
Both essays answer the question and are organised into four paragraphs — structure is not what separates them. The Band 8 essay develops one idea per paragraph until it has consequences, answers its own concession, and weighs the two sides using explicit criteria. The Band 6 essay lists ideas it never develops and concedes problems it never answers. When revising your own writing, ask of every paragraph: did I extend this idea, or did I just add another one?
两篇文章都回答了问题,都是四段结构——结构并不是分数差距的来源。8 分作文每段只发展一个观点,直到推出其影响;让步之后有回应;并用明确的标准来权衡两方。6 分作文罗列了从未展开的观点,承认了从未回应的问题。修改自己的作文时,对每一段都问一句:我是把这个观点推进了,还是只是又加了一个?