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写作范文库
对比同一题目的两篇范文。
Nowadays, tourism is more and more important1 in the world. Every year, a lot of tourists travel to famous places. Some people think tourism is good for local people, but other people think it is bad. In my opinion, I think2 tourism has both good and bad sides, but the good side is more.
On the one hand, tourism can bring many benefits to local community. Firstly, it can create many jobs, such as hotel, restaurant and tour guide4. So local people can earn money and their life become better. Secondly, tourism can develop the local economy, because tourists spend money in the local shops. In addition, local culture can be known by more people from other countries.
On the other hand, tourism also have some bad influence3. Too many tourists will make the environment dirty and the traffic very crowded. Moreover, the price of house and food will increase, so local people must pay more money. Some old buildings and nature are also damaged by tourists. This is a serious problem.
In conclusion, although tourism has some disadvantages, I think the advantages are more than disadvantages5. The government should control the number of tourists and protect the environment, then tourism can be good for local community.
A memorized opener that adds no information. It signals limited range at the very first line — examiners see this exact phrase in thousands of Band 6 scripts. Cut it and name something specific about mass tourism instead.
背诵式的开头,没有提供任何信息。它在第一句就暴露了词汇的局限——考官在成千上万篇 6 分作文里见过一模一样的短语。删掉它,改成一个关于大众旅游的具体事实。
A redundant double marker — "in my opinion" and "I think" mean the same thing, so using both is wordy. Mandarin learners often stack signposts (因为…所以…) out of habit; in English, one opinion phrase is enough.
重复的立场标记——"in my opinion" 和 "I think" 意思相同,两个一起用就啰嗦了。说中文的考生常出于习惯把连接词叠加("因为…所以…");在英语里,表达立场用一个短语就够了。
Subject-verb agreement slip: "tourism" is singular, so it must be "has". This error recurs because Chinese verbs do not inflect for number, so the -s is easy to drop. "Influence" here should also be plural or uncountable — "bad effects" is more natural.
主谓一致错误:"tourism" 是单数,应该用 "has"。这个错误反复出现,是因为汉语动词没有单复数变化,所以容易漏掉 -s。这里的 "influence" 也应用复数或不可数——"bad effects" 更自然。
Countable nouns dropped their articles or plurals — it should read "hotels, restaurants and tour guides". Because Chinese has no obligatory plural marking, whole lists of bare singular nouns are a frequent Band 6 signal.
可数名词漏掉了冠词或复数——应为 "hotels, restaurants and tour guides"。由于汉语没有强制的复数标记,成串的单数光杆名词是常见的 6 分信号。
A direct calque of 优点比缺点多. The idiomatic verb the question invites is "outweigh". "Are more than" also literally means greater in number, but the essay never counts anything — it means greater in importance.
这是 "优点比缺点多" 的直译。题目所引导的地道动词是 "outweigh"。"Are more than" 字面意思是数量更多,但文章根本没有做任何数量比较——它想表达的是分量更重。
Few economic forces have reshaped popular destinations as visibly as mass tourism, and opinion is sharply divided over whether the millions of annual visitors enrich host communities or hollow them out. My own view is that the benefits are real but conditional1: tourism helps local people only when its scale is actively managed, and harms them precisely when it is not.
Those who defend mass tourism point, reasonably, to the livelihoods it sustains. A single popular town can support thousands of jobs in accommodation, catering and guiding, and much of that income circulates locally, funding services that a small resident population could never finance alone. Cultural exchange is a genuine dividend too: crafts, cuisines and festivals that might otherwise fade often survive because visitors value them. Where this argument understates the picture, however, is in assuming the money reaches residents rather than the international hotel chains and booking platforms that increasingly capture it2.
The case against mass tourism becomes compelling once volume outpaces a place's capacity to absorb it. When visitor numbers swell far beyond the resident population, housing is the first casualty3: landlords convert flats into short-term lets, rents climb, and the very people who staff the cafés and museums are priced out of their own neighbourhoods. Add the strain on water, transport and heritage sites, and a community can find itself materially poorer in everything except cash flow. Crucially, these harms are not inevitable — they are what happens when growth is left entirely to the market4.
This is why I regard the debate as less about tourism itself than about its governance. Destinations that cap daily numbers, tax short-term rentals and reinvest visitor revenue in local housing consistently fare better than those that simply maximise arrivals. The evidence therefore points not to welcoming or rejecting tourists, but to designing the terms on which they come.
On balance, then, mass tourism is neither the saviour nor the villain each camp describes. It is a powerful tool that rewards communities which regulate it and punishes those that do not, and the decisive question is not how many visitors arrive, but who ends up better off when they leave5.
A qualified thesis rather than a blunt yes/no. By making the position depend on a condition (active management), the writer sets up an argument the whole essay can develop — exactly the nuance Band 8 Task Response rewards.
这是有限定条件的论点,而不是生硬的"是/否"。作者把立场系于一个条件(主动管理)之上,为全文的论证埋下伏笔——这正是 8 分任务回应所奖励的思辨深度。
The "benefits" view is granted, then qualified from inside — the writer concedes the point and immediately complicates it, showing evaluation rather than a flat list of pros. This is the concede-then-refine move that top essays make within a single paragraph.
"有益"这一观点先被承认,然后从内部加以限定——作者认可这一点,随即将其复杂化,展现的是评价而非平铺直叙的优点清单。这正是顶分作文在同一段之内完成的"先让步、再细化"的手法。
One idea developed to its consequences: high demand → conversion to short-term lets → rising rents → residents displaced. Compare the Band 6 essay, which states "the price of house and food will increase" and stops there.
一个观点被推进到它的后续影响:需求高涨 → 公寓改成短租 → 房租上涨 → 本地居民被挤走。对比 6 分作文:它只说了一句"房价和食物价格会上涨"就没有下文了。
The essay reframes both sides under a single controlling idea (governance), so the two views stop being a shopping list and become one coherent argument. This synthesis is what "discuss both views" is really testing.
文章把双方观点都归到一个统摄性的核心(治理)之下,于是两种看法不再是一张清单,而成为一个连贯的论证。这种综合正是"讨论双方观点"真正考查的东西。
The conclusion refuses to simply repeat "advantages outweigh disadvantages" and instead reframes the whole question around distribution of benefit — a precise, memorable close that demonstrates control of the argument.
结论没有简单重复"优点大于缺点",而是把整个问题重新聚焦到"利益归谁"之上——一个精确而有记忆点的收尾,显示出对论证的掌控力。
Both essays cover benefits and harms and reach a balanced conclusion, so coverage is not the difference. The Band 8 essay develops each point to its consequence, concedes the opposing view and then qualifies it, and unifies both sides under one controlling idea — that the real variable is how tourism is governed, not tourism itself. The Band 6 essay lists advantages and disadvantages in single sentences, leans on memorized openers, and carries recurring grammar slips (missing plurals, subject-verb agreement) that a Mandarin speaker should proofread for specifically. When revising, turn each listed point into a short chain of cause and effect, and read every sentence once just to check articles and plurals.
两篇文章都涵盖了利与弊,也都给出了平衡的结论,所以"是否涵盖"并不是差距所在。8 分作文把每个论点推进到它的后果,先承认对方观点再加以限定,并把双方统摄在一个核心之下——真正的变量是"如何治理旅游",而非旅游本身。6 分作文用单句罗列优缺点,依赖背诵式开头,还带有反复出现的语法失误(漏复数、主谓不一致),说中文的考生尤其应专门校对这些。修改时,把每个罗列的论点变成一小段因果链条,并把每句话单独读一遍,只用来检查冠词和复数。