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Writing structure library
Compare the two responses to the same prompt.
Nowadays, tourism is more and more important1 in the world. Every year, a lot of tourists travel to famous places. Some people think tourism is good for local people, but other people think it is bad. In my opinion, I think2 tourism has both good and bad sides, but the good side is more.
On the one hand, tourism can bring many benefits to local community. Firstly, it can create many jobs, such as hotel, restaurant and tour guide4. So local people can earn money and their life become better. Secondly, tourism can develop the local economy, because tourists spend money in the local shops. In addition, local culture can be known by more people from other countries.
On the other hand, tourism also have some bad influence3. Too many tourists will make the environment dirty and the traffic very crowded. Moreover, the price of house and food will increase, so local people must pay more money. Some old buildings and nature are also damaged by tourists. This is a serious problem.
In conclusion, although tourism has some disadvantages, I think the advantages are more than disadvantages5. The government should control the number of tourists and protect the environment, then tourism can be good for local community.
A memorized opener that adds no information. It signals limited range at the very first line — examiners see this exact phrase in thousands of Band 6 scripts. Cut it and name something specific about mass tourism instead.
A redundant double marker — "in my opinion" and "I think" mean the same thing, so using both is wordy. Mandarin learners often stack signposts (因为…所以…) out of habit; in English, one opinion phrase is enough.
Subject-verb agreement slip: "tourism" is singular, so it must be "has". This error recurs because Chinese verbs do not inflect for number, so the -s is easy to drop. "Influence" here should also be plural or uncountable — "bad effects" is more natural.
Countable nouns dropped their articles or plurals — it should read "hotels, restaurants and tour guides". Because Chinese has no obligatory plural marking, whole lists of bare singular nouns are a frequent Band 6 signal.
A direct calque of 优点比缺点多. The idiomatic verb the question invites is "outweigh". "Are more than" also literally means greater in number, but the essay never counts anything — it means greater in importance.
Few economic forces have reshaped popular destinations as visibly as mass tourism, and opinion is sharply divided over whether the millions of annual visitors enrich host communities or hollow them out. My own view is that the benefits are real but conditional1: tourism helps local people only when its scale is actively managed, and harms them precisely when it is not.
Those who defend mass tourism point, reasonably, to the livelihoods it sustains. A single popular town can support thousands of jobs in accommodation, catering and guiding, and much of that income circulates locally, funding services that a small resident population could never finance alone. Cultural exchange is a genuine dividend too: crafts, cuisines and festivals that might otherwise fade often survive because visitors value them. Where this argument understates the picture, however, is in assuming the money reaches residents rather than the international hotel chains and booking platforms that increasingly capture it2.
The case against mass tourism becomes compelling once volume outpaces a place's capacity to absorb it. When visitor numbers swell far beyond the resident population, housing is the first casualty3: landlords convert flats into short-term lets, rents climb, and the very people who staff the cafés and museums are priced out of their own neighbourhoods. Add the strain on water, transport and heritage sites, and a community can find itself materially poorer in everything except cash flow. Crucially, these harms are not inevitable — they are what happens when growth is left entirely to the market4.
This is why I regard the debate as less about tourism itself than about its governance. Destinations that cap daily numbers, tax short-term rentals and reinvest visitor revenue in local housing consistently fare better than those that simply maximise arrivals. The evidence therefore points not to welcoming or rejecting tourists, but to designing the terms on which they come.
On balance, then, mass tourism is neither the saviour nor the villain each camp describes. It is a powerful tool that rewards communities which regulate it and punishes those that do not, and the decisive question is not how many visitors arrive, but who ends up better off when they leave5.
A qualified thesis rather than a blunt yes/no. By making the position depend on a condition (active management), the writer sets up an argument the whole essay can develop — exactly the nuance Band 8 Task Response rewards.
The "benefits" view is granted, then qualified from inside — the writer concedes the point and immediately complicates it, showing evaluation rather than a flat list of pros. This is the concede-then-refine move that top essays make within a single paragraph.
One idea developed to its consequences: high demand → conversion to short-term lets → rising rents → residents displaced. Compare the Band 6 essay, which states "the price of house and food will increase" and stops there.
The essay reframes both sides under a single controlling idea (governance), so the two views stop being a shopping list and become one coherent argument. This synthesis is what "discuss both views" is really testing.
The conclusion refuses to simply repeat "advantages outweigh disadvantages" and instead reframes the whole question around distribution of benefit — a precise, memorable close that demonstrates control of the argument.
Both essays cover benefits and harms and reach a balanced conclusion, so coverage is not the difference. The Band 8 essay develops each point to its consequence, concedes the opposing view and then qualifies it, and unifies both sides under one controlling idea — that the real variable is how tourism is governed, not tourism itself. The Band 6 essay lists advantages and disadvantages in single sentences, leans on memorized openers, and carries recurring grammar slips (missing plurals, subject-verb agreement) that a Mandarin speaker should proofread for specifically. When revising, turn each listed point into a short chain of cause and effect, and read every sentence once just to check articles and plurals.